Good morning Karl! I was curious about which part of this piece you would pick up on. I also liked the "punch card" part, for some reason it felt appropriate.
There were other strong lines too, I was just busy and didn’t have time to comment on all of them. In general-- and I apologize for the redundancy-- I feel that metaphors illustrate the author’s feelings more effectively than listing those feelings.
So for me, a weak writer neglects the craft and focuses on feeling and message.
Two elements of the craft are metaphor and sound. Sound is typically ignored by writers, I think, and if I don’t ignore it as much as others do, it’s because I have the advantage of being a musician so I think in sound.
(Oddly, a lot of musicians-- especially songwriters-- also think about sound less than they should.)
Sound is probably about more than these two things, but two big things it’s about are rhythm and the actual sound of letters and syllables.
“Punch card” is strong rhythmically and sonically. Also, it’s a good metaphor.
So that metaphor is strong for multiple reasons.
This is generally the way I think; craft is obsessing about the elements of the medium that affect people emotionally. The better you get with the craft, the more you can affect people.
Serious art is about using craft to affect people even when they don’t agree already with your premises and feelings.
I have been focusing on metaphor much more lately based upon your feedback previously. I definitely agree about sound and I'm going to have to think about that part more...
Thank you very much for your kind words in recommending my substack. Your feedback and support throughout the past couple of months have been absolutely essential in my improvement as a writer and I truly can not thank you enough and just wanted you to know how much I appreciate all of your encouragement.
It means just as much to me to hear that you find my pedantic yammering helpful.
Most of my income is from teaching, and the toughest thing about teaching about the craft involved with creative work is that creative people often don’t want feedback. You’ve been really gracious about it, and I have definitely seen you improve.
Any time a writer listens to me about the craft, that makes me feel great. So, yes, the feeling is mutual!
Your writing is beautiful and poetic, Joaquin. Thank you for blessing us with it.!
Thanks for reading Emilie! I look forward to reading some of your writing.
Thanks for the Helen Keller quote.
She's excellent.
Joaquin, this one had me in tears you are way more mature and very wise young man.
Good morning, thank you for your kind words and all of your encouragement.
“Like a single use punch card.”
Good morning Karl! I was curious about which part of this piece you would pick up on. I also liked the "punch card" part, for some reason it felt appropriate.
There were other strong lines too, I was just busy and didn’t have time to comment on all of them. In general-- and I apologize for the redundancy-- I feel that metaphors illustrate the author’s feelings more effectively than listing those feelings.
So for me, a weak writer neglects the craft and focuses on feeling and message.
Two elements of the craft are metaphor and sound. Sound is typically ignored by writers, I think, and if I don’t ignore it as much as others do, it’s because I have the advantage of being a musician so I think in sound.
(Oddly, a lot of musicians-- especially songwriters-- also think about sound less than they should.)
Sound is probably about more than these two things, but two big things it’s about are rhythm and the actual sound of letters and syllables.
“Punch card” is strong rhythmically and sonically. Also, it’s a good metaphor.
So that metaphor is strong for multiple reasons.
This is generally the way I think; craft is obsessing about the elements of the medium that affect people emotionally. The better you get with the craft, the more you can affect people.
Serious art is about using craft to affect people even when they don’t agree already with your premises and feelings.
I have been focusing on metaphor much more lately based upon your feedback previously. I definitely agree about sound and I'm going to have to think about that part more...
It’s really paying off for you!
Karl,
Thank you very much for your kind words in recommending my substack. Your feedback and support throughout the past couple of months have been absolutely essential in my improvement as a writer and I truly can not thank you enough and just wanted you to know how much I appreciate all of your encouragement.
It means just as much to me to hear that you find my pedantic yammering helpful.
Most of my income is from teaching, and the toughest thing about teaching about the craft involved with creative work is that creative people often don’t want feedback. You’ve been really gracious about it, and I have definitely seen you improve.
Any time a writer listens to me about the craft, that makes me feel great. So, yes, the feeling is mutual!