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Karl Straub's avatar

I think this is your best piece yet. It’s just plain good writing.

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Joaquin Roibal's avatar

I agree and I felt a similar feeling when writing it, didn't need to add many metaphors, or feelings, just had something I wanted to say and said it. Your feedback is always appreciated my friend.

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Karl Straub's avatar

I think the lesson here-- which you got to faster than I did-- is that metaphors are an excellent device. But while they add color, and literary weight, to your writing, they also represent a kind of detachment. That probably works less well in a really heartfelt piece like this. My personal taste is for the more detached approach, but man, if you’ve got a story like this to tell, you ought to tell it. Maybe that kind of story is the one where less “clever” writing devices are the ones to pull out. Rhythms, and pacing, and all of that. If you do that stuff correctly, in this sort of piece, even a wiseass like me won’t notice the craft. The reader just gets caught up in it.

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Joaquin Roibal's avatar

I always appreciate your insight Karl. Definitely giving me a new perspective while I'm editing my book...

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juanita roibal bradley's avatar

Seems to survive we have to keep reinventing ourselves and learning how adapt to the curve balls that get thrown at us.

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